Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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