I'm lost and stupid without you.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
