Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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