Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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