You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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