spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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