Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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