so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize