I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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