Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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