What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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