haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
