we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
