The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My feet surprised me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
