He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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