yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
