Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize