why didn't you poke me back
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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