i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My vagina is very pro this idea
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
