i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so let's talk penis.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
