I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
