My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
