i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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