that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
