worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
