We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
