Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
