this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize