she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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