my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
