38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
