Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
