need another drink. this is the easiest way
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
