So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
