I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize