Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
