ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
