I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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