I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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