You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
