Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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