If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
