just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
