Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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