Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
