i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
