They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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