You work out of a Hotel?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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