I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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