Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You can't special order awesome
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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