I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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