Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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