so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
