i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
