as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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