I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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