omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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