So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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