I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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