Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
