I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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